善導會 2024-2025年報

96 | 2024-2025 | 年報 ANNUAL REPORT / JC JOYAGE PROJECT 賽 Service User: Grandma Ada The birth of a new life should be joyful, but for Grandma Ada, it became an unexpected challenge. Her daughter and son-in-law, who hadn’t planned on having children, welcomed a baby girl. Ada moved into their home for babysitting. Yet, what began as an act of love soon revealed cracks in their family dynamic. Ada believed her parenting experience could help her daughter, but they had different views on many details. Her daughter and son-in- law preferred seeking advice from peer support groups and even questioned Ada's methods. Feeling untrusted despite her efforts left Ada feeling hurt and disappointed. When the baby turned one month old, her daughter and son-in-law asked Ada to return home. The request struck her like a blow. She had uprooted her own life to help, and now she felt unneeded, even unwelcome. The most painful moment came during a family gathering when her son-in- law publicly stated, her son-in-law said, “I’ve never seen such a terrible mother-in-law!” Ada’s heart sank. She couldn’t understand how her wholehearted efforts had led to such harsh judgement. Ada became more anxious and depressed, feeling she couldn't express her frustrations due to the belief that "family shame should not be aired." Ada wasn’t a stranger to emotional struggles. Years earlier, she had battled depression while caring for her chronically ill husband. Recognising the signs, she turned to the Integrated Community Centre for Mental Wellness – Vitality Place for help and joined the JC JoyAge: Jockey Club Holistic Support Project for Elderly Mental Wellness. Through the guidance of social workers, Ada was able to unpack her emotions and reflect on what had gone wrong. “I’ve realised that by being overly involved and always available, I might have unintentionally put pressure on them and neglected my own life,” she admitted. At Vitality Place, Ada rediscovered herself. She joined handicraft classes and other interest groups, finding joy in hobbies she’d long forgotten. These activities gave her a sense of accomplishment and helped her shift her focus away from family conflicts. Vitality Place helped her build a support network and broaden her social circle, allowing her to connect with peers who have similar experiences, which made her feel understood and mutually supported. Slowly, Ada’s perspective changed. She learned to maintain a respectful distance from her daughter’s family, allowing them the space to grow into their roles as parents. She was delighted to see her daughter and son-in-law settling into their new responsibilities, with her son-in-law becoming more hands-on and attentive to their baby girl. Now, Ada embraces a healthier approach to family life. “True love isn’t about being involved in everything,” she reflected. “It’s about knowing when to step back and offer support from afar.” Watching her granddaughter thrive, Ada feels lighter, as though a weight has been lifted. 服務使用者︰ Ada 婆婆 新生命的誕生本應是喜事 ， 但對於 Ada 婆婆而 言卻是始料不及的挑戰 。 女兒和女婿從未計 劃過要孩子 ， 為了幫助女兒照顧初生孫女 ， Ada 婆婆主動搬進女兒家中協助 。 然而 ， 朝夕 相對卻使家庭成員之間的矛盾逐漸浮現 。 Ada 婆婆一心認為自己的育兒經驗能幫助女 兒 ， 然而在細節上 ， 她與女兒和女婿的觀念出 現分歧 。 女兒和女婿不但向媽媽群組的同輩 尋求建議 ， 甚至質疑 Ada 婆婆 ， 讓她內心充滿 委屈與失落 。 孫女滿月後 ， 女兒和女婿便請 Ada 婆婆搬回自己家中 。 對於至親冷待 、 不被 需要 ， Ada 婆婆感到心灰 。 最讓她心痛是在一 次家庭聚餐中 ， 女婿當著眾人面說 ：「 從未見 過如此糟糕的岳母 ！」 這句話讓 Ada 婆婆的情 緒跌入谷底 。 她無法理解自己全心全意的付 出 ， 為何換來的是冷漠與不滿 。 Ada 婆婆變得 更加焦慮和心情低落 ， 更因覺得 「 家醜不出外 傳 」， 而無從抒發心中的委悶 。 加上 Ada 婆婆就曾因需要照顧長期病患的丈 夫 ， 因而壓力過大而患上抑鬱症 。 因此 ， 她再 次來到精神健康綜合社區中心龍澄坊求助 。 在社工的耐心陪伴下 ， 參與了 「 賽馬會樂齡同 行計劃 」。 Ada 婆婆重新梳理自己的情緒 ， 理 解自身的壓力來源 。 她坦言 ：「 我終於明白 ， 過度的介入和隨傳隨到 ， 無形地讓他們感到 壓力 ， 也讓自己忽略了生活的其他面向 。」 在龍澄坊 ， Ada 婆婆亦會不時參與興趣小組 ， 例如手工藝課程 ， 讓她重新投入個人興趣 ， 建 立自己的生活重心 ， 亦為她帶來滿足和成就 感 。 Ada 婆婆逐漸發現 ， 當她將注意力從孫女 和家庭矛盾中轉移出來 ， 她的心情也變得輕 鬆 。 此外 ， 龍澄坊還幫助她擴闊了社交圈子 ， 讓她能夠與相似經歷的同路人交流 ， 讓她感 到被理解和互相支援 。 Ada 婆婆心態慢慢改變 ， 學會與女兒一家保持 適當的距離 ， 尊重他們的選擇 。 她亦十分慶幸 看到女兒和女婿逐漸適應了照顧孫女的生活 ， 女婿對孫女的態度也越來越積極主動 。 如今 ， Ada 婆婆學會了用更健康的心態面對家庭關 係 。 她深刻體會到 「 真正的愛 ， 不是無條件的 介入 ， 而是適時的放手與支持 。」 專題故事ﾠ FEATURE STORY